notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…acknowledging inner conflict
Childhood trauma is all about avoidance. Over time we develop a great many techniques to avoid painful thoughts, emotions and truths. Irritatingly though, these avoidance strategies create more pain than they relieve.
A common outcome is that we become easily overwhelmed and confused by our inner world.
It makes sense, right? If we spend our life avoiding certain emotions the conscious presence of the feeling is going to feel too much. If we spend our lives trying to deny and push down specific thoughts, the conscious presence of the thought is going to feel very uncomfortable.
Our discomfort, confusion and overwhelm can be particularly strong if we’re avoiding polarised emotions and thoughts that are trying to pull us in opposite directions.
Our inner world can feel unbearable and deeply confusing because we won’t allow ourselves to see, and accept, that an inner conflict exists. We won’t allow ourselves to see that multiple different parts of ourselves are present…and that this is ok.
For example:
– Part of me wants greater intimacy, but another part of me is scared of intimacy
– Part of me wants to socialise, but another part of me wants to be quiet
– Part of me is feeling insecure and childlike, but another part of me feels strong and adult
– Part of me thinks I should give up, but another part of me thinks I should keep going
– Part of me wants to meditate, but another part of me can’t be bothered
To find greater freedom from childhood trauma, give yourself permission to name what is true for you today. No matter how conflicted and polarised your parts and emotions are, see them and name them. This is how you move into acceptance. And with acceptance comes clarity, relief, regulation and healing.
With love,
S. x
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Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
