a note on… avoiding emotions

notes on freedom

A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.

THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…avoiding emotions

Every part of the traumatic reaction is designed to disconnect you to protect you.

When we look closely at dissociation, anxiety, hypervigilance, compulsive eating, or any other aspects of the traumatic reaction, we can see they’re designed to disconnect us from something.

These things disconnect us from the present moment. They also disconnect us from our body and, therefore, from our emotions.

I know that you already know this. At a mind-level you completely understand that you’re disconnected from your emotions. If anything, me saying it again is a little dull and repetitive, right?

But this precious knowledge can only help you heal if you integrate it. It can only be fully understood as it’s felt and experienced in the moment.

And as you fully experience your separation from your body and emotions, you’ll begin to find freedom from it.

Because your feelings are not the problem. The things you do to avoid your feelings are the problem.

This is the truth. Your intense emotions are not a problem, but the way you side-step them are.

Next time you’re anxious, ashamed, stressed or afraid notice how you pull yourself away from your body. And even if for just one second, move back into connection with your body. Be in the tension and the uncomfortable sensations.

Being in our body as we experience emotional discomfort is a wild self-led journey of discovery that must be done slowly. But as we gently move towards the thing we’ve been avoiding we find freedom.