notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…the beauty of a time-out
Relational trauma, developmental trauma and CPTSD go hand in hand with nervous system dysregulation.
Our fight-flight-freeze-fawn-collapse mechanism is overactive, so it triggers quickly and often. We experience this as different trauma symptoms (e.g. anxiety-like symptoms, overwhelm, dissociation, overthinking, depression, compulsive behaviours etc).
We often experience dysregulation somatically too (i.e. it affects our body). Headaches, back pain, tense jaw, chronic pain, sore muscles, skin conditions and IBS/stomach issues are all associated with nervous system dysregulation.
The imbalance in our nervous system also makes us highly sensitive to noises and other sensory stimuli (e.g. bright lights, smells, temperature changes). So, as we heal our trauma we’re also, necessarily, committing to helping our nervous system learn to regulate and balance.
To do this, and as always, first you need to increase awareness. Take a look at the descriptions above and ask yourself:
When do I feel highly dysregulated?
Maybe you write down just one or two moments or situations in your life. Maybe, on reflection, it feels like you’re living this way permanently. Either way, try and receive it as useful information. Helping our nervous system regulate takes time (often, a long time). It’s a complex neural re-wiring that can’t be achieved quickly. It involves practice, honesty and a deeper look at our own chronic stress and trauma patterns.
Although this complexity is undeniable, there’s also a simplicity to certain aspects of the work. One relatively simple concept we can begin to apply is the good old-fashioned time-out.
Some prefer to call this a sacred pause. Others refer to this moment as a reconnection to self.
Either way, the intentions are aligned:
– Notice when you become dysregulated (i.e. stressed, dissociated, overwhelmed, anxious, adrenalised etc)
– Step away from the situation, take space and help yourself regulate (i.e. feel less stressed, dissociated, overwhelmed, anxious, adrenalised etc)
Freedom from relational trauma takes time and is interwoven with learning to regulate our nervous system. No matter where we are on our healing journey, we must never forget the simple power of a time-out.
With love,
S. x
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Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
