notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…disconnection
Close authentic connection with our parents and carers, and an environment of predictable safety as we’re growing-up, leads to a responsive, well-toned ventral vagal nerve.
Disconnection from our parents and carers, and an environment that feels unpredictable and unsafe, leads to a less responsive, poorly toned ventral vagal nerve.
In short, childhood trauma, stress and adversity LITERALLY affect how well our ventral vagal nerve operates.
This powerful nerve is often referred to as ‘the social engagement system.’ When it’s operating we feel open to the world, safe and secure. We feel connected to other people – curious and trusting.
How, then, do we switch on this magical nerve? The answer is found in how this nerve develops during childhood: connection.
Freedom is found, or should I say, freedom is created, as we find ways to safely reconnect to the world around us.
This fact has to be approached with caution. Over the years your clever nervous system has found many ways to quickly disconnect you from other people and the world. Rewiring to allow more connection requires a patient, slow and steady approach.
Right now, as you sit here reading this, how connected are you to the world around you? Not very, I would imagine. So, try to understand now that this disconnection will work against you feeling safe, present, open and grounded.
In what small way can you reconnect to the world around you? Can you look up, soften your gaze and take in the world around you? Can you gently notice the colour of the plant in the corner of the room? Can you slow the input down? Actively reconnecting with your surroundings? Reconnecting with your breath? Your body? The chair you sit on?
Trauma is disconnection. Healing, and freedom, is slow, steady, gentle, safe reconnection.
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Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
