Trauma denies us the joy and satisfaction of completion. It doesn’t allow anything
to end. Conversations, work, memories, tasks, experiences, relationships and
emotions all remain somehow ‘unfinished’ in our self and our system.
Trauma won’t allow us to move on. The sympathetic arousal energy of fight, flight
drives us to keep going. We don’t rest with satisfaction after a task is complete.
We search for what we did wrong and what still needs to be done. We find a way
to keep moving mentally or physically.
We don’t get the lovely sense of contentment that comes with knowing
something has ended. That all is as it should be. That we did our best. That life has
moved on. Instead, we pick every moment back-up. Instead of feeling the joy of
an ending, things remain active in our system. We pick things apart, overthink
what was said or done, regret, worry, resent and panic.
As we heal our trauma we find freedom from the constant unfinished movement of
fight, flight energy, and we experience the joy of competition and rest.
Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success.
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