notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…living in reality
The journey of trauma healing is made of many different strands. One strand that unfolds as we travel is the move from ignoring reality to living in, and acknowledging, reality.
Trauma involves patterns of triggered reactions and, to cope, patterns of avoidance and disconnection. We either react from a place of fear or proactively take steps to avoid and deny our fear.
Because of the swing between fear-led reactions and avoidance, we struggle to see things as they really are.
We can move out of curiosity and into catastrophe within a millisecond. Or, on the other end of the scale, we sense fear rising in our belly and run the other way, ignoring issues that need our attention. Issues and problems can become huge because of this.
Trauma healing involves a process of gently learning to be in reality – in the present moment, seeing and acknowledging what is real for us.
A first gentle step towards reality is simply noticing your fear or avoidance. Because noticing these things and owning these things is living in reality.
As we say to ourselves…
“I’m in a lot of fear at the moment”
“I’m picturing the worst here”
“I’m catastrophising about the outcome”
“I’m avoiding that conversation”
“I have so much resistance to making that decision”
…we move back into reality.
By noticing and acknowledging our fear or avoidance we reclaim our sanity and our agency. Instead of being ‘in it’ we separate from it and see it. Over time this process leads to clarity and a greater sense that we are responding to life’s ups and downs instead of reacting to them or avoiding them.
___________________________
With love,
S. x
If you’ve enjoyed this note on living in reality and want more, subscribe here.
PLEASE SHARE on your socials if you think someone you know will benefit from reading
Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
