notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…the power of self-compassion
Trauma healing involves becoming aware of what was missing in our childhood and then find ways to give ourselves what we need.
Many of us come to realise that our childhood involved a lack of genuine kindness, empathy and compassion. As we become consciously aware of this painful missing piece and the gap that it has left, we allow ourselves to grieve. We then gently begin to give ourselves what we need.
For many of us addressing this specific missing piece involves working with a therapist, coach or practitioner who can provide deep, unconditional kindness and compassion. As we’re consistently met with empathy, we begin to develop a new inner dialogue.
We become willing to go easier on ourselves. We become able to pause and stop as we’re mentally beating ourselves up. Over time we find the voice of our inner critic is matched by a new, gentle, loving voice.
Practicing self-compassion for the first time can feel very uncomfortable. But in our own way and in our own words it’s a journey we all need to go on.
Finding freedom from relational trauma involves safe, gentle changes undertaken with support. These changes can speak directly to what is missing. They’re ways we give ourselves what we need. They’re keys that fit into the gaps created by the missing pieces. They’re keys that unlock huge healing.
Self-compassion is one of the keys that unlocks deep healing so, try this today:
Instead of ignoring your distress or telling yourself to ‘suck it up’, ‘man up’ or ‘get over it’*, pause and pop your hand on your heart.
Now, meet yourself with empathy by saying out loud and with as much genuine feeling as you can “I’m so sorry you…”
“I’m so sorry you’re feeling so sad”
“I’m so sorry you’re so tired”
“I’m so sorry you’re stressed right now”
“I’m so sorry you feel so alone”
“I’m so sorry you have no one to call right now”
“I’m so sorry you feel you have to get everything right”
“I’m so sorry you believe you’re getting everything wrong…”
Take your time as you use this practice. Own it and feel it. Allow it to expand – continue making these short statements until you feel that something has released and shifted.
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*These are phrases many of my clients say regularly about themselves, so if you relate and you need support, please get in touch to book a session.
With love,
S. x
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Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
