notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…self-compassion
Growing up in an emotionally dysfunctional home, without the appropriate support and sense of security that children need to thrive, often leaves us with a painful inner world.
At the centre of this inner world is our core wounding – the false beliefs, unmet needs and painful buried emotions we developed in childhood.
These core wounds activate when we’re triggered. For example, a false belief that ‘I am not enough’ is likely to be activated if we feel rejected. Or maybe a small mistake at work activates a deep ‘I’m a failure’ wounding.
It’s helpful to conceptualise these wounds as ‘inner children’ or ‘inner wounded parts’. The personification helps us (adult ‘us’) find a little bit of separation from these wounded parts (child ‘us’).
As abstract as all this might sound in practice it can be beautifully simple.
To find freedom from childhood trauma we increasingly practice self-compassion. Instead of responding to ourselves and our core wounding with criticism, urgency and derision, we learn to respond with tenderness and kindness.
Self-compassion heals childhood trauma because it slowly heals our core wounding. And our core wounds are our trauma.
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I know I often write in a flowery way. My editor spent nearly two months removing unnecessary adjectives and commas from my book manuscript!!
If this note has made you scratch your head, focus on this: be kind to yourself, always.
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Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
