notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…self doubt
Trauma leaves us doubting ourselves and all we touch. We doubt our own version of events, our instincts, our body, our emotions, our capacity, our worth, our thought process, other people, our memories, our choices, our actions and our life.
I feel a real sadness as I write this because this ‘symptom’ is so prevalent and so very detrimental to our well-being and growth. Instead of getting lost in the complexities of why we get stuck in self-doubt, let’s focus on how we can get unstuck. Because, really, this is what matters.
The first step to getting unstuck is to remember that crippling self-doubt is a symptom of relational trauma. This fact, although simple, enables us to find our way out because as we accept this fact, we acknowledge that self-doubt is part of our triggered reaction.
All trauma symptoms and patterns operate in stealth-mode. They convince us that they are us and that we are them. Over time traumatic reactions, symptoms and patterns wind themselves around our identity. We can’t see the woods for the trees. We think:
“I am a failure”
“I am not enough”
“I am confused”
We merge and blend in a way that prevents us from seeing the truth, which is:
“I am not a failure, when I’m triggered I feel like a failure.”
“I am enough, but when I’m triggered I believe I am not enough.”
“I am not confused, I experience triggered confusion.”
Can you hear how when we speak this way we create space and separation?
And once you’ve created space by acknowledging that you’re triggered, you can respond as you would to any other triggered reaction: by helping your beautiful self feel safe.
This could look like placing a hand on your heart and speaking to yourself with compassion. It could look like you grounding and regulating. It could look like shifting anxiety or stress through movement. It could look like you connecting with someone you trust.
Once we can separate from self-doubt and clearly see that it’s part of a triggered trauma pattern we can find freedom from it.
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Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
