notes on freedom
A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.
THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…the race instead of the goal
Most adults with childhood relational trauma are programmed to ‘do better’. We strive endlessly, not just because we’re part of a capitalist society, but because we carry old wounding from childhood. Wounding which whispers to us: what you do is never enough and you are not enough.
This ‘do better’ programming leads to a relentless pursuit of an unattainable outcome (no one ever reaches ‘better’). It strips us of the senses of easy satisfaction that ‘enough’ brings.
This programming also leads to a fixation on outcomes. We find ourselves racing towards the goal rather than savouring the journey.
– The goal is simply an excuse for the fun of the race
I heard this catchy little slogan for the first time this week. It resonated with me. It made me smile. It felt right.
Focusing on the process, the journey, the race instead of the goal invites us to immerse ourselves fully in the moment. It invites us to recognise that success at all costs is not success. It invites us to exhale, slow down, lighten-up and allow our efforts to be effortless and easy.
How we travel through this life – how we work, how we learn, how we plan, how we cook, how we exercise, how we move – matters so much more than where we’re travelling too.
With love,
S. x
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Sarah Woodhouse is a trauma expert, research psychologist and writer who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success. Please follow her on Instagram, Facebook or X for all the latest updates.
