a note on… the wounding underneath

notes on freedom

A weekly email series containing easily digestible morsels of info on relational trauma and how to find freedom from it.

THIS WEEK IT’S A NOTE ON…the wounding underneath

Trauma means wound and childhood relational trauma refers to a wound
caused by, and within, old childhood relationships.

The wounding caused by childhood relational trauma affects our
developing sense of self and our growing nervous system.

The wounding is the catalyst for the issues we face today as adults.

Over time this catalyst, this wounding, can develop into behaviours and
ways of thinking and being that, from the outside looking in, don’t appear
connected…

– Angry outbursts
– Poor self-care
– Anxiety
– Procrastination
– Highly critical of self
– Highly critical of others
– Phobias
– Dissociation
– Sense of terror
– Self-hatred
– Unable to make/sustain relationships
– Compulsive eating & drinking
– Overwhelm
– Suicidal ideation
– Overworking
– Overthinking
– Feeling unsafe
– Burnout
– Autoimmune issues
– Chronic pain & fatigue
– Obsessive compulsions
– Fear of being vulnerable
– Sense of dread

Some of these seem wildly unrelated because the wounding can push us
in very different directions.

Healing involves becoming conscious of where our trauma has pushed us.
But it’s also about a growing awareness of, and compassion for, the wounding underneath.

Although our wounding is deeply personal to each of us, it’s also true that
the wounding caused by old childhood relationships shares a similar
quality. Our wounding tells us:

– I’m not enough
– I’m getting it wrong
– I’m not doing enough
– I’m failing
– I’m broken
– I’m disgusting

This wounding is the catalyst for everything on the list above. It can drive self-hatred or alcohol issues just as it can drive overworking, autoimmune issue and phobias.

From the outside looking in trauma is a bizarre jumble of different behaviours, ways of being and ways of thinking. But once we can hear and feel the wounding underneath it begins to make sense.

____________________

This week’s note speaks to the centre of our trauma. For this reason it may, very understandably, trigger fight-flight-freeze.

If you feel triggered know that it’s because you have identified with what’s been written here (something has felt familiar). And that’s ok. It’s more than ok, it’s a step towards healing.

If you’re triggered, gently reconnect back to your body and to the room around you. Give yourself what you need: hug yourself (wrap your arms around your chest), connect with your breath and remind yourself that although you feel unsafe, you are safe.

And if you need more support please reach out and book in a session.

With love,

S. x

To read previous Notes On Freedom please click here.