Nervous system regulation refers to our individual capacity to respond flexibly to daily stressors. Someone who can self-regulate is able to stay present and connected, and not get totally overwhelmed, during difficult moments. Whereas someone who struggles to self-regulate (e.g. someone who’s dysregulated) can’t adapt and is easily flooded and overwhelmed during stressful experiences.
Our nervous system develops in response to our caregivers when we’re young. If we had caregivers who were chronically dysregulated (e.g. stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, shut-down, angry, disconnected) we’re likely to struggle to self-regulate as adults.
Anyone, no matter our level of dysregulation, can learn to self-regulate. Moving in and out of dysregulation is totally normal – this is just another way of saying ‘really stressed’. And of course, we all get ‘really stressed’ sometimes. This is an important message – expecting ourselves to be 100% zen is completely unrealistic. Stress is normal – we just don’t want to get stuck there.
What is the nervous system?
The nervous system controls internal functions of the body and receives, interprets, and responds to stimuli. It’s basically the control centre of your body.
The system can be broken down into two main parts. Your central nervous system controls functions such as thought, movement and emotion, and the Peripheral Nervous System, which is made up of nerves that relay messages to the rest of your body.
The Peripheral Nervous System can be broken down into the Somatic Nervous System (SNS) and the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS).
When we talk about nervous system regulation we’re talking about the balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches of the ANS.
The sympathetic nervous system
The sympathetic nervous system carries signals that put our body’s systems on alert. It’s a network of nerves that fire-up when we need to perform well, when we’re stressed or when feel in danger. It’s our ‘fight-flight’ survival mechanism, evolving over millions of years to protect us from perceived threats, such as predators, emotional stress, and trauma. But we also need it to navigate life – it kicks in to ensure we’ll meet a work deadline, for example.
Activation of this system results in increased heart rate, rapid breathing, muscle contraction, and the release of adrenaline, and other stress-signalling hormones.
The parasympathetic nervous system
The parasympathetic nervous system is a network of nerves that relaxes our body and helps it move into ‘rest and repair’. It counteracts the effects of the sympathetic nervous system, regulating functions and promoting a return to a state of security. It also influences digestion, procreation, heart activity, breath quality, muscle relaxation, and stress hormone release.
An overactive parasympathetic can lead to dysregulation, including freeze and fawn states.
The benefits of nervous system regulation
Learning to regulate your nervous system can genuinely be life-changing. We must learn to self-regulate because otherwise we get stuck in old emotional states, old reactive relationship patterns, and compulsive behaviours. Over time all the stress hormones take a massive toll on the body too.
I love the phrase ‘wake-up and regulate’ because it emphasises the importance of this work. We all need to wake and regulate to stop repeating unconscious reactions.
As we learn to self-regulate we become more present, so we’re more connected to our body and to other people around us. Over time we become able to pause before we speak or act so we can respond instead of react.
What is nervous system dysregulation?
A dysregulated nervous system means the nervous system is not operating in a balanced way. Although this can affect the whole nervous system, the term primarily refers to balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems within the ANS. In other words, the term refers to an imbalance between our fight-flight arousal response and our rest and repair response.
What causes a dysregulated nervous system?
Many factors in an individual’s life may cause and exacerbate nervous system dysregulation. These include:
– Past trauma
– Chronic stress
– Major life transitions
– The demands of a fast-paced life
– Alcohol
– Lack of sleep
– Lack of external emotional support (e.g. insufficient support from those around us
– Lack of internal emotional support and resources (e.g. unable to self-soothe, harsh inner critic)
Signs of a dysregulated nervous system
So how do we know our nervous system has been knocked off balance? The signs and symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system can be often overlooked, but they’re crucial to recognise to get back on the path to a regulated self. Signs may include:
– You feel constantly on edge and overwhelmed
– You frequently feel snappy, irritable, and more reactive
– You’re highly sensitive to sensory stimuli (e.g. loud noises)
– You’re highly sensitive to other people’s emotional states
– You experience chronic pain or illness and autoimmune issues (e.g. Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Psoriasis, Multiple Sclerosis etc)
You may also experience issues with sleep and daytime fatigue. An unhappy nervous system can also lead to changes in your attention, appetite, and the condition of your skin and gut.
How do you regulate the nervous system?
The first step to regulating your nervous system is all about curiosity – we need to get a clear embodied sense of how it feels to be regulated and how it feels to be dysregulated.
When we’re regulated our ventral vagal nerve is active and we’re in our window of tolerance. We know we’re in this nervous system state because we feel present, grounded, connected, curious, and compassionate.
Any activity that helps you feel these things will help you move into regulation in the moment and create more flexibility in your nervous system over time. These may be things like:
– Being in nature
– Meditation
– Yoga
– Mindfulness
– Poly-vagal breathing
We also need to get curious about the thoughts, people, situations, emotions or memories that push us out of our window of tolerance and into dysregulation. Once we’re conscious of this we’re better able to look after ourselves.
A final note...
Nervous system regulation isn’t about always being calm – this is impossible. It’s about learning to move between arousal and rest. Dysregulation means we’re stuck in either state. Regulation means we begin to allow both.
So it involves learning to rest properly and it involves learning how to move into arousal in a gentle, safe way. For example, 5 minutes dancing a day or gentle weights exercises are a great way to start.
Moving into flow also involves learning how to allow ourselves to be with, process, and release uncomfortable emotions and sensations. This can be as simple as noticing and naming what we’re feeling, crying, moving our body, journaling, or talking to someone we trust.
Whether you want to understand more about how past trauma may be impacting your current day-to-day, or want to improve how you self-regulate, a coaching psychologist can help guide you toward positive change
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Sarah Woodhouse is a research psychologist, relational trauma specialist, and author of you’re not broken, who delivers people the knowledge and tools to recognise and overcome self-defeating cycles, to achieve personal freedom and success.
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